How to Make Friends
A. Listen and Ask Questions
B. Give a Compliment
C. Detach Yourself From Technology -Temporarily
You're less likely to notice who's interested in you if you're constantly checking your email, voicemail and text messages. Being online or on the phone also sends the message to others that you're unavailable.
Put away your cell phone from time to time and take a look around. Who seems funny or interesting? Which people in the room have you never talked to? Who pays attention to your ideas? Make a mental note and spend a little time getting to know these people face-to-face.
D. Join a Club or Team
E. Volunteer
F. Get a Job
Getting a part-time job at a place where other teens work is another way to meet people and work toward common goals. Even if those goals involve folding sweaters or cleaning toilets, you'll have something to complain about -- and bond over -- with others.
G. Form a Study Group
I. Laugh
Letting others know that you think they're funny makes them feel good and shows them you're interested in what they think. It also shows you have a good sense of humor, which is one of the top things teens look for in a person, whether it's a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend.
B. Give a Compliment
C. Detach Yourself From Technology -Temporarily
You're less likely to notice who's interested in you if you're constantly checking your email, voicemail and text messages. Being online or on the phone also sends the message to others that you're unavailable.
Put away your cell phone from time to time and take a look around. Who seems funny or interesting? Which people in the room have you never talked to? Who pays attention to your ideas? Make a mental note and spend a little time getting to know these people face-to-face.
D. Join a Club or Team
E. Volunteer
F. Get a Job
Getting a part-time job at a place where other teens work is another way to meet people and work toward common goals. Even if those goals involve folding sweaters or cleaning toilets, you'll have something to complain about -- and bond over -- with others.
G. Form a Study Group
I. Laugh
Letting others know that you think they're funny makes them feel good and shows them you're interested in what they think. It also shows you have a good sense of humor, which is one of the top things teens look for in a person, whether it's a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend.
They Don't Like Me
You're off track the minute you take aloneness personally. In some cases, the recipient of your cookies, phone calls and e-mails may not know how to respond, says Levine. But more likely, experts concur, they merely lack time to open their routines to a new face. One of Paul's sources confessed that the first gal she approached in a new city bluntly informed the newcomer she didn't have time for new friends right now, thank you.
And, like falling in love, sometimes the relationship doesn't mesh for the other party even if you are delightfully charming. For example, some divorced people prefer to surround themselves with other single-agains. Paul interviewed a woman who sought to form friends only with beautifully dressed older women because she aspired to that status in life. Still other folks struggle with personal situations behind closed doors that they won't reveal.
"The undercurrent is that you just can't know what somebody else is seeking. Just because they don't respond to your overture doesn't necessarily mean it's about you," Paul says. "In fact, it's rarely about you."
And, like falling in love, sometimes the relationship doesn't mesh for the other party even if you are delightfully charming. For example, some divorced people prefer to surround themselves with other single-agains. Paul interviewed a woman who sought to form friends only with beautifully dressed older women because she aspired to that status in life. Still other folks struggle with personal situations behind closed doors that they won't reveal.
"The undercurrent is that you just can't know what somebody else is seeking. Just because they don't respond to your overture doesn't necessarily mean it's about you," Paul says. "In fact, it's rarely about you."
More Making Friends Tips
1. The quickest way to make a friend is to smile. When you smile, people think you are friendly and easy to talk to. It may not be easy at first to smile. But, you can practice in the mirror. When you look at yourself, think if you'd rather talk to your smiling face or your usual face that may look scared or angry. Remember that other people have feelings too and most people will stay away from a scared or angry looking face.
2. One easy way to start a conversation with someone is to say something nice about them. For example, you could comment on a great answer to a teacher's question, good catch at the ball field, pretty shirt, etc...Think about how great you feel when someone says something nice to you. Doesn't it make you want to keep talking to that person?
3. Ask your new friends questions about themselves. Who's their favorite singer, where do they live, who's their teacher, what do they do after school are all good questions to start a conversation.
It's not really nosey to ask questions about people. It's the only way to get to know what they're like. AND, it's the only way they'll know that you are interested in them.
4. Make sure you have something to add to the conversation too. When someone asks you a question, do have an answer for them. If you don't know who your favorite singer is, or what your hobbies are, think about it. There's nothing that will stop a conversation quicker than a shrug for an answer. You can get to know yourself by keeping a journal.
5. Shy kids often have some trouble with complements. When someone says something nice, shykids will often freeze in their tracks and say nothing. This leaves the other person wondering if they said something wrong. The best and easiest reply to a complement is a simple "Thank You".
6. Be a friend. Kids who show an interest in other kids and who are kind and friendly make good friends. Remember, everyone wants to be around people who like to do similar things and people who are nice to them.
2. One easy way to start a conversation with someone is to say something nice about them. For example, you could comment on a great answer to a teacher's question, good catch at the ball field, pretty shirt, etc...Think about how great you feel when someone says something nice to you. Doesn't it make you want to keep talking to that person?
3. Ask your new friends questions about themselves. Who's their favorite singer, where do they live, who's their teacher, what do they do after school are all good questions to start a conversation.
It's not really nosey to ask questions about people. It's the only way to get to know what they're like. AND, it's the only way they'll know that you are interested in them.
4. Make sure you have something to add to the conversation too. When someone asks you a question, do have an answer for them. If you don't know who your favorite singer is, or what your hobbies are, think about it. There's nothing that will stop a conversation quicker than a shrug for an answer. You can get to know yourself by keeping a journal.
5. Shy kids often have some trouble with complements. When someone says something nice, shykids will often freeze in their tracks and say nothing. This leaves the other person wondering if they said something wrong. The best and easiest reply to a complement is a simple "Thank You".
6. Be a friend. Kids who show an interest in other kids and who are kind and friendly make good friends. Remember, everyone wants to be around people who like to do similar things and people who are nice to them.
